5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
