What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
now i know why i became what i already was.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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