If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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