the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
