Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's official drugs can't kill me
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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