Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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