You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
