Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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