Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
