When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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