Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
