So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize