can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
