even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
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Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
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This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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