Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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