I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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