there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
