please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
this boner is exhausting
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
