when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
