How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
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When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
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I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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