if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
