There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
