absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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