I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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