everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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