Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
