He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
