is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
my sisters under your porch take her home
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
