So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
cat food counts as protein by the way
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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