your parents love me but you hate me
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
