This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
