Define "chronic" masturbator.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
is it fun? or sober?
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