Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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