Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
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