Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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