I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We're too hungover to prance.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
