He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
