ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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