I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
