You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
