Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The air was thick with penises
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
