yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
