i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
