am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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