Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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