She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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