My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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