before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
