oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
