my text book just quoted the cookie monster
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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