Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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