That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
