We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
