A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Do vagina's smell?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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