this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
