Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The dick lei will go down in squad history
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
