Sponge bath it is.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
