So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
