I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
