that's an acceptable place to lick
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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