ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
