I am in a vortex of obligation.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
