you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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