don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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